xmas

Greetings and salutations

Well, it's boxing day. Had a great christmas, ate way more than is healthy but determined that'll change next christmas.

I had some awesome presents but even though not many people read my blog, I'd like to remind those who have stumbled across it that christmas isn't just about presents.

Although christmas has become materialistic, and it's supposed to be a happy time for everybody...sadly there are hundreds out there who don't get a happy christmas.

Some people don't get christmas, at all. We take this special day of the year for granted. We take being with our family for granted, we take the gifts and the food for granted.

I'm feeling very sympathetic towards those people in the world that don't have what I have today, or what I had yesterday.

Not only that, but on the 23rd of December, 3 days ago, it was my 18th birthday. Another time that people take for granted. You should always celebrate your birthday. In this chaotic world, you never know when it could be your last.

Despite the fact that I'm 18 now, I have consumed no alcohol. As a converted buddhist trainee, I do not drink anymore. It's unhealthy anyway. Besides, my family's prone to depression and alcohol is a depressant. That illness has claimed too many years from my families existance.

Although many people would probably find this a depressing and pessimistic post for one at christmas...I actually feel pretty good. I'm in a very reflective mood. I was thinking the other day...This year, 2009....it's almost over. A few days and we'll be in 2010. And that got me to thinking.

I'm always preaching about doing good and oh the world sucks and people should be doing more about it yadda yadda yadda.

Well...As many of you are aware, new years is a time of reflection and turning over new leaves, making new oths, new promises or renewing old ones.

I've hit the stage of reflection a few days early but as long as I'm reflecting anyway...

I was looking back on the year...and asking myself...what have I done this year? Have I come very far at all? In some ways, no, I haven't.

But, I'm looking at where I am inside myself compared to where I was. In august I tried to kill myself again. Needless to say I survived but the point is, now, almost 4 months down the line, I am feeling so alive, so ready for the world.

I believe that although I have made little progress physically, (after all, I'm still donig GCSE's at 18 for christs sake), I have come very far mentally.
I'm calmer, more relaxed, more determined, and actually more confident.

I still have troule controlling my emotions, especially anger...but they're no longer completely running me. I think that perhaps it's a good thing. I mean, I still ahve to learn to control them, but emotion helps us I think.

Anyways, pyschologically I believe I've come very far this year. A few days ago I was considering what a 'waste' this year has been. I've failed to practice what I've been preaching about saving the planet.

But in actuality, now that I've considered it more, this year hasn't been a waste at all. I think perhaps we have to save ourselves before we can save others...and I'm close to reaching safety within myself.

So by sorting myself out, I'm putting myself in a better position mentally to help others.

So this year hasn't been a waste at all. Besides, technically it wasn't a waste physically either because I got a job.

So this year wasn't bad...it was pretty important actually. Probably one of the most important years of my life.

My mum bought me a book on my star sign, Capricorn...and it says 2010 is going to be a successful year. I sure hope so.

Anyway, I'm gonna be off, got a few things to plan for the new year.

Hope everyone had a great christmas...let's hope that the fun and love we had during christmas was shared by as much of the world as possible.

Happy new year people!

Rhi xXx