Isn't it amazing...

... How many people are so wrapped up in their own lives that just missing one thing that they love makes them hate life.

I'm probably going to make alot of enemies through this post, if anyone actually bothers reading it. But I need to get this frustration out of me before I explode. If you do read it, at least read it all the way through before slagging me off.

It is not aimed at anyone specific, and I don't deliberately want to piss anyone off, think what you will of me, but I'm not like that.

I understand that it's very easy to get sucked into something going on in your life, and that that is all you can think about, it's on your mind all the time, eating away at you.

But for once I wish people would think about someone other than themselves!

So you missed that party. Now you hate life? Life is so ufair to you.
You really thought it would be easy?

I can't go to my sisters ENGAGEMENT party because I have to work.

But you know what? I'm not mad. I don't hate my life. Life is not a bitch.

I doubt anyone will understand my intentions of writing this post. You'll think that I'm just ripping the shit out of you who get upset over these things.
I'm not. I've been in the same position. And different circumstances, several times I've thought that life must hate me.

But I was wrong.

Life doesn't hate anyone. Life is an amazing thing and there are people out there who don't have even one of the benifits we do.

At least you HAVE parties. You HAVE education. You HAVE a house. You fucking have the internet for christs sake.

You're not starving unless it's deliberate. At least you have the choice to eat. I'm not saying this to piss off all you pro-ana girls because I'm also choosing not to eat and that is MY choice alone.
But it is making me so angry that you don't see how much you truly have to be thankful for.

Now I've seen enough to know that when you have a disorder, be it an eating disorder or not, it's very hard to care about anything but your imediate issues. Beleive me, I know that.

But don't blind yourself to what the world still has to offer.

There are wonderful things. Beautiful things in the world. Yes, there are horrible, disgusting things too.

But what do you thinks going to happen to us as a race if people don't wake up and stop being so self centred and ignorant?! And no, I wasn't calling pro-ana's self-centered and ignorant, I meant the people behind these horrible and disgusting things, like war and murder and rape and the fact that every 17 seconds a child dies due to lack of clean water.

At least we HAVE clean water. Did any of you ever stop to consider that???

Did you ever stop to consider the face that you HAVE parents??? You might hate them, but you have them.
(And if there's anyone on here who has sadly lost their parents, I apologise.)

Did you ever stop to consider that you HAVE homes, you HAVE clothes on your back, in fact you have quite a few clothes???

Do you ever stop to consider anything other than how apparently shit things are for you?!

And now people are going to do the whole, what would you know, you're just a fat privelaged kid.

I'm not. I mean, yes I'm fat, but I'm not just some privelaged kid and despite how this post must sound, I don't think I'm high and mighty. Not in the least.

There's been some tough moments in my life. Everyone has their own issues. I have mine.

But it could be so much worse.

People say there's always a reason behind people being the way they are. That there's a reason for their 'issues'.
One of the biggest things that gets in my head and tries to tear me apart is the way the world is, and that my friends is the absolute truth. I'm not just saying that. I see what's going on out there and my blood starts to boil. My chest gets all tight, my heart pounds, my head spins and I just feel so angry and upset.

Every. single. day.

Sure there are things closer to home, IN my home, in me, that chew at me too. Memories of an unfortunate childhood. I'll tell you something, it is not the nicest experience to come downstairs with your sister screaming and covered in blood because she's slit her wrists. It's not nice to have her threaten you with a knife just so she can try and kill herself again.
It's not nice to watch your mother crying because the accounts have screwed up and she's being threatened with eviction, no money, no food.
It's not nice to have a screaming match with your parents because you've gotten bullied so much you're point blank refusing to go to school. They call you freak, they call you a tramp. Say you're worthless, a fat cunt. They spit on you and kick you and throw things at you.

All my life I've been an outcast. I've never fit it with anyone. Even the group I hang out with at college are aqcuaintences. I have about...three people I consider my friends. And one of them is my own mother.

Yes, I've self harmed. Yes, I've tried to kill myself a couple of times. Yes, I've bitched about everything and everyone and hated life completely.

Sometimes I still do. Sometimes it gets to the point where I just wanna scream at everyone because I cannot understand how people can be so fucking cruel!

I'm so mad right now my stomach's twisting into knots!

How can people be so fucking stupid? Does no one see that we have to stop all this ignorant fucking bitching and actually HELP EACH OTHER!

That is the only way our so called civilisation is going to survive.

And I do mean so called. I don't think we're civilised at all. Not in the sense that the word civilised it used today. I think we're still a very fucking barbaric race.

Evolution is spiritual and humans have less spirit then a dead fucking twig!

I hate having no fucking way of actually doing something about this shit!

End of rant. You can go ahead and slag me off now if it makes you feel better.