oh dear

I don't seem to be doing too well on the whole getting along with people thing.


It's not that I don't want to, you understand, it's just, I have a habbit of speaking my mind. I'm very oppinionated, not to the point where I don't listen to other people's views cos I'm fine with people having their own views and standing up for what they believe in and all that, it's just that...well, like I said, I speak my mind.

The problem that people don't seem to understand is that I'm not trying to be bitchy or contradict them or anything I'm just trying to help.

I wish I knew a better way to do it.

It's a big part of my religion, my morals and...me, to try to help people if I can. But every time I try to help I always make things worse.

Maybe I really am just an evil bitch.

Surely if I was a good person, I'd know how to make things better.

But I don't, I'm just fumbling around fucking everything up.

I had a theory that if I was happy with myself, I might be able to help more. So that's another reason to lose weight, if I didn't have enough reasons already.

If I was thinner, and had more confidence, I might be better equipped emotionally and spiritually and physically to help more.

But who am I kidding. No one listens to me. Why should they? I'm a complete fucking retard.

I'm so lost. I wonder if I'll ever find my path.

I feel so small and worthless.

What do I do?


Everbody thought she was a winner
No one knew the secret kept within her.

xx