I lost all control yesterday. College was NOT good. I had clashes on my time table so I had to drop a course, and I had to drop badminton cos it clashed with something else.
And on top of that I haven't lost any weight. Every time I weigh myself it's the same group of numbers, between 145 and 152 lbs.
I ate like a pig yesterday and I cut last night, and then I cut again this morning. I like cutting, it makes me feel better and it's the one thing no one except me can control!
I was told as a child to tell the truth, but all my truth has gotten me is the freak label and happy pills so that they can change me to something society wants me to be and my emotions won't get in the way.
Not that I'm feeling much of anything right now, but that happened before the stupid pills. Things that would normally upset me aren't upsetting me and I haven't cried for weeks, when I used to cry at the slightest thing.
I could kill for a fag right now!
So my day didn't go well yesterday and I'm not feeling much better today.
Hope you lot are doing better.
xx
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