Dream

I had a dream when I finally got to sleep this morning. I was looking at myself naked (Which at the moment is a very, VERY disgusting sight) and my collar bones were jutting out, I was so thin.

It was beautiful. I still want to reach my goal weight of 70lb...and I'll keep trying even though loosing weight isn't my main focus at the moment. What is my main focus you may ask?

Well two words for you. SELF. DESTRUCTION.

Oh the beauty in that.

My target is to implode. Break down. Collapse inwards.
My thoughts are eating away at me like millions of tiny nasty insects...or one big nasty scary monster.

It's funny how you get convinced as a child that the monsters aren't real, and then the scariest one is actually you!

Or at least, a part of you.

You try to run away but you can't, and it always finds you. You know, it makes me wonder...which of the characters in my head is the real me? Am I the monster, am I the scared little child, I'm I the mouthy hardarse that doesn't give a shit about anything or anyone?

Maybe as I break down, it'll break away different characters so I find out who I really am at the end.